Old Ladies

Luckily for you all I'm gonna keep this one short and even a little sweet.

It's Christmas time, and it's snowing like it's supposed to snow with pretty flakes and no shoveling involved.

The kids are in a good mood and we're hanging out around my mom's beautiful Christmas decorations. I included some pictures with this post, but I really can't do her home justice.

You know how some people are really good at Rubik's cubes, and some people can bake 38 layer cakes with rose petals and glitter and calligraphy, while others are really talented at murder? My mom is the absolute best home decorator that isn't on TLC or HGTV or ID (the only channel she watches). She makes every room she touches a genuine joy to be in. And this time of year is her Super Bowl.

So this is the warmth I'm feeling as I settle onto the living room floor to enjoy the first ever board game I have attempted with my children.

Charly is meticulously setting up Candy Land as Case observes from a distance. He's not sure what to make of this activity, but the colorful candy road on the game board kind of looks like train tracks, so there is the possibility of participation.

We set up our characters at the start line and start picking cards. Within three minutes Charly is flinging herself across the board for no apparent reason and writhing around like she's been tasered. It appears I overestimated her maturity level.

My mom attempts to garner Charly's interest one last time:

Mom: Charly, do you want to watch me and Mommy play Candy Land so you can see how it works?
Case: (Jumping into the conversation out of the blue) LET'S WATCH TWO OLD LADIES!

I immediately packed up the game and googled "Home Botox."

Luckily, Laney got the brunt of their boredom while I was injecting my forehead with bacteria in the bathroom. I included a couple pictures of the torture she endured, too.

Today was actually pretty tame. But as Christmas draws nearer, I get more and more excited about the endless shit show possibilities.

For now, I'm going to head to bed and light my pine glistening snowflake candle infused with elf blood and reindeer shit. Or whatever this Yankee monstrosity is. But I'll set anything festive on fire this time of year, so I'll let you know how it is.

Here's to Christmas decorations and moms and Yankee Candles and little boys with no filter.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!