Normal

He snuggles up to me in bed. He breathes on me. He wraps his arms around me. He is the most beautiful comforter in the world.

He hits me. He throws toys at my head. He seeks destruction in any form. He is wild.

He calms down. He breathes. He counts. He counts all the time. Sometimes to 20. Sometimes more.

He goes in his room when he can’t stop. When he can’t stop himself. He throws himself against the door. The house shakes. The loudness is both deafening and silent as we move through our routines.

Sudden calm. The walls are still. It is safe. He is safe. He is quiet now. Hugging his daddy. Asking for mommy. Blue eyes wide and searching. A pep in his step. A playful smile.

What just happened? I don’t understand.